Category Archives: Serious Investigative Journalism

UQLS pick up headliner for tri-faculty tournament

Breaking story: Hatchets Press™ managed to get a quick Skype interview with none other than Manchester United player Zlatan Ibrahimovic this morning. When we questioned Mr. Ibrahimovic about the upcoming Hatchets v. UQLS game (Zlatan would not talk about UQES), … Continue reading

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Presentation Night 2016

Congratulations to all our award winners for 2016! R-L: Nick – Best & Fairest Tej – Best Hair Jack – Clubman of the Year Logan – Best New Player Bjorn – Goal of the Season

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Bjorn: “I will play on for 2017, 2018, 2019…”

Hatchets stalwart Bjorn confirmed last night that rumours of an early retirement were greatly exaggerated, and that he would be staying on for “at least the next few batches of medical students.” Despite the fact that absolutely no one on the … Continue reading

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Heads Will Roll

The Herston Hatchets FC Board of Directors has reprimanded controversial player-coach Simon Bennet over his decision to rest key right back Tom K prior to the Hatchets shock 3-0 loss to Warriors FC last Friday. Fans and players alike have … Continue reading

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Special Investigation: Australia’s Shonkiest Coach?

The maverick Tom H has pieced together a special investigation on one of the Hatchets’ most controversial figures. A secretive man, asking to be identified only by the name ‘Mr G’, has bombarded ‘A Current Affair’ this week with various complaints … Continue reading

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Jarryd Hayne To Join Hatchets

Jack G has the scoop on this week’s transfer speculation. News broke early this morning that Jarryd Hayne has ended his stint with the Fijian 7s team and joined the Herston Hatchets. Despite the fact that he was on track … Continue reading

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Rumour Mill: Gilpin Covets Top Job?

Stunning developments have rocked the Brisbane footballing community today, as rumours surfaced of a possible power struggle in the Herston Hatchets back room. An anonymous source characterised Hatchets vice-captain Jack Gilpin as “ambitious” and “power-hungry”, and claimed that “he’ll stop at nothing to … Continue reading

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