About Us

Herston Hatchets FC is a soccer club based on players from the UQ MD course. Our team, the Herston Hatchets, which is entirely medical students (and maybe a couple cheeky interns),  play every Friday in a local Brisbane league. We also compete against other Queensland medical faculties in a tournament at the end of each year.

We play for fun, but only in the sense that winning is fun, and that we will stop at absolutely nothing to have fun each game. Players who can have fun properly are welcome to come to trials next February. You will be tested on playing ability, dedication, and the ability to throw top notch banter under pressure. Poor banter will not be tolerated in this world-class football team. Regardless, proficiency in at least one of the areas is required, although sometimes we let guys like Eric Shuffle in regardless.

It is often said that elite sport is defined by individual moments in time. The Herston Hatchets are not defined by individual moments in time. We are instead defined both by our unwillingness to study on Wednesday and Friday nights and by a strange and at times an unwholesome sense of jingoistic pride in representing UQ Med. It is this pride, largely inspired by the team tradition of chanting the Hippocratic Oath after each win while our captain gyrates hypnotically around an eight-foot-tall replica of the Rod of Asclepius, that has helped us become the most successful medical school in the history of the QLD Med Soccer Tournament.

All those… moments… will be lost in time, like [a small cough] tears… in… rain. But for now, you can keep up to date with the Hatchets’ performances on http://www.herstonhatchets.com.


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