Last game of home and away.

The Herston Hatchets have suffered their third successive loss, and can now hit the finals full of inertia.

It was a simple equation for the Hatchets in their final game. Win and get a second chance in the finals, lose and enter sudden death. However, lifelines are for the weak and feeble, and here at the Hatchet’s we are neither weak, nor feeble. Except Adam. Adam is very feeble. Bless.

The tactical 5-3 loss by the Hatchets against their old rivals, The Bolsheviks, means the Hatchets end their season in fourth position.

The high quality game was played under the shadow of the highway at FR Caterson Park. The Hatchets had a many core players either injured or taking “leave” to visit their “wife and small child” in “America”. Some would call these excuses poor, but not this humble reporter. He would describe them as a monstrous betrayal, akin the Gondor betraying Rohan when the Westfold fell. Key defender Tim Thorne was “sick”, and clearly didn’t get the team doctor’s prescription for a cup of cement in time.

This is to take nothing away from the Bolsheviks, who played a very strong passing game seasoned with some outrageous finishes. The first goal to put the Bolsheviks 1-0 up was from outside the 18 yard box and careered of the post back into the net.

The Hatchets created many of their own chances, but were unable to capitalise on the majority. This lack of conviction can only be explained by one thing. A lack of faith in the Communist ideal. Some good finishes by Moonie Singh and Andrew Grapejuice kept the score line respectable, but the result was never in doubt after half time.

The Hatchet’s must now address key holes in their game strategy before the sudden death this Friday. Seizing the means of production, equal wages for all workers, and disrupting the status quo are all valid tactics. There are also calls for Emperor Graves to impose stricter immigration laws to ban key players like Donald Chang from visiting their families in the future.

Fans can expect the Hatchets to play with gusto this Friday at CJ Greenfield Park. Tickets are still available.

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