UQLS pick up headliner for tri-faculty tournament

zlatan.jpg

Breaking story: Hatchets Press™ managed to get a quick Skype interview with none other than Manchester United player Zlatan Ibrahimovic this morning. When we questioned Mr. Ibrahimovic about the upcoming Hatchets v. UQLS game (Zlatan would not talk about UQES), he had this to say,

“Yes, I am the Zlatan. I am the perfect man [Zlatan laughs]. For certain any football game without the Zlatan is nothing to watch. It is clear that we will win.”

Mr. Ibrahimovic then went on for some time about how he once ‘nutmegged’ Zeus in a pick-up game.

One thing is clear however, and that is that UQLS have used their immense budget from L-card sales to rent the Swedish Zlatan from Manchester U. for their epic match up this Thursday.

Alex Graves, Hatchets coach, manager, goal keeper, gardener and leading goal scorer, said in response to the rumours,

“Yes we are aware of the situation with Zlatan Ibrahimovic. We have, however, had Tim Cahill on speed dial for a number of years in case this sort of thing happened. If the allegations turn out to be true, we will be making a special call first thing Thursday morning”.

One thing is for certain, the Tri-faculty tournament this Thursday is heating up. It is not one to be missed. Come down to field 3 at UQ (St Lucia) at 4pm Thursday 30 March, and watch the Hatchets v. UQLS v. UQES. There will be a BBQ.

About DanEdey

Third year UQ Med Student.
This entry was posted in Serious Investigative Journalism. Bookmark the permalink.

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