Bjorn: “I will play on for 2017, 2018, 2019…”

Hatchets stalwart Bjorn confirmed last night that rumours of an early retirement were greatly exaggerated, and that he would be staying on for “at least the next few batches of medical students.”

Despite the fact that absolutely no one on the team doubted that he’d be playing again in 2017, Bjorn seemed excited to send out an email to the Hatchets mailing list with the subject ‘Guess who’s coming back next year…???’


Bjorn receiving his congratulatory jersey for playing his 22nd season this year

‘I’ve been giving it some serious thought’, the email began, ‘and I just don’t think I’m ready to hang the boots up for good. There’s no way I could call it quits after this season, which has definitely been one of my top 10.’

The message rapidly turned sentimental, with Bjorn taking the opportunity to farewell the outgoing fourth years. ‘It’s a cliche, but they really do grow up so fast,’ wrote the evergreen central defender, presumably right after flicking through a photo album on his expensive computer. ‘It seems like just yesterday that Steven was joining the team as a first year. Blink and you’ll miss it, huh.

At press time, Bjorn was wondering aloud why no one had replied to his email.

By outgoing fourth year Simon B

This entry was posted in Serious Investigative Journalism. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Bjorn: “I will play on for 2017, 2018, 2019…”

  1. Simon Newman says:

    Bjorn is still playing? Wow. That beats my 10 years with the hatchets…

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