Nick R To Quit? Hatchets Shocked

Investigative journalist Mike G has uncovered an astounding story this week.

Rumours of the impending retirement of Hatchets’ star striker, Nick R, have flooded the sporting world today. The rumour was sparked after he allegedly missed three training sessions in a row, and then was not picked for last Friday’s game against Colleges United.

This news may come as a shock to many fans, especially given that Rigby’s FIFA rating is 95. However, coach Simon B was left with little choice but to drop Nick for the Colleges United game after a series of less than impressive performances by his attacking midfielder. Indeed, Nick has only managed one hat trick in the past four games.

“He’s a great guy, but sometimes as coach of the year you have to make tough decisions. I mean, it’s not like he’s scored any back heel goals or anything,” coach Simon said.


Nick shown on self-imposed sabbatical in the South of France

Nick has not made himself available for a response, a fact which serves to substantiate the rumours of his retirement. Sources claim that he used this week to spend more time with his mother, Eleanor Rigby. Others claim that Nick has set himself to new ambitions, possibly pursuing a mysterious career as an ‘actor’ under the guise of ‘Mr. Bigby’.

When questioned on his future in front of the camera, Nick was evasive. “Yeah, I’ve been spending a bit of time in the San Fernando Valley  and LA lately, I have a few contacts there. I’ve been told that I’m a real up-and-comer in the industry.” He then mumbled something about an appointment and hurried from the room.

Curious happenings indeed. But for the Hatchets, the focus will be on how the team bounces back from this no doubt devastating news.

This entry was posted in Serious Investigative Journalism. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s